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I know a lot of people really like the
Lord of the Rings series of books. So being the geek, I thought I should really read it. Can't be a nerd when you haven't. I have NEVER done the whole
Dungeons and Dragons thing, you know, with 20 sided dice, no women, dark aged worlds of festering monks, smashed barrels, and large cellar dwelling rats etc. Was never my scene. First off did
"The Hobbit", (my only previous exposure to it through an ancient text adventure) and then onto the "Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring". It was a strange read indeed. There were endless descriptions of endless miles and miles of countryside. That seemed about it! Any actual story, was always supposedly a story of something that ALWAYS happened before memory recalls (but seems able to recall the long trudging detail of even what color the kings hat was etc). Which they told to eachother with annoying regularity. I always imagined (after seeing the movies) this was an action thing. Twanging arrows, squelching sword play, and rocks squishing foes. Not at all. One part an entire battle (of jaw dropping vastness) was described as "...they came over the hills and they had a battle. Next morning....." Maybe not an
exact quote, but you get the idea.
The books came across to me like a Middle Earth, Benny Hill show. They were chased up the hill, and down the hill. Into the forest, around the forest, and out of the forest. Even had
Aragorn slapping little
Frodo on the head for no reason.
(Ok I made that bit up, but he should have done). And even that is making it sound more exciting that it was. Endless trudging over hilltops and fanatically detailed scenes, of woodlands, forests, escarpments (I knew there was a reason for teaching geography in schools), and surprisingly shimmery sunsets, blah blah blah... Nothing EVER happened to the people in the story, they just wandered about all over the place.
Who ever actually oversaw the adaptations for the
movies, deserves a medal, as they used all the RIGHT parts of the books.
I will read the rest of them, but not until I have cleansed my palette with a novel taken from the screenplay of the apparent stinker,
Fantastic 4. After that, I should be ready for the next Benny Hi...er.. I mean Lord of the Rings installment.
Click here for my audio review of these books.
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Slappity slap slap