IBM is releasing a new type of cheaper messaging client for workers that do not typically have desks. Now these people are known as deskless workers, seems reasonable right? Well they seem to call those WITH desks, knowledge workers....where did that come from? You know the type of job they mean by deskless, medical, shop floor, or someone on the move, but typically has no need to send emails, or bother with what you and I have just discovered, is the world of the "knowledge" worker. For a billion years, the coporate universe has been continually looking after it's own with various desk based, nine to five, tie wearing, crumpled stained shirt half-tucking-in, types, and never even bothering to look outside of the only thing it is familiar with. I'm sure that you yourself have wondered why your particular organisation, does what it does, in the way that it does it sometimes... What I mean is that I worked in a very 'deskless' job for a long time, which was a 24/7 job. Strangely enough, all events to do with the job were ALWAYS held between the hours of nine to five, Monday to Friday, and the annoying insistance of sending memo's all over the place, to us deskless nomads. Oh and don't even think of holding any event outside the working week, or without a whole hour and a half fully catered lunch AND coffee breaks (which of course is not quite the same as your own Christmas day, fourteen hour straight through shift, or regular 8 hours without even enough time to yourself to change your mind, let alone a hot steaming cup of mocha-lotta-crappe, chocolate biscuits (cookies) served on an Ester Williamsy style arranged plate full AVEC DOILY, because you have been so hard at work sat on your bum, listening to ANOTHER lecture on what makes an ancient plastic skeletons' spine work, and not trying to lift heavy boxes with your eyelashes while bending at the neck instead of the kneed, for a whole FORTY MINUTES!!)

The biggest of all sins is the "Pardon me? That surely does NOT compute?? What is this concept your deskless team has of having an event (meeting, training etc) on a national holiday??? That is stupid, as this company ceases trading and existance at those times!! How on earth could we be expected do that thing when we don't even exist or acknowledge the existance of the continuing process, at that time??? Anyway, my calendar doesn't even CONTAIN those dates, so go away!"

(Hey I'm on a roll here, bear with me, and I WILL make it to the point eventually)

Ahem..AND...those extremely expensive glossy A3 sized fold out sheets, all containing the most mind numbingly boring information about the company that nobody ever reads. Nobody even knows who these people are that are shown in these brochures...surely not the same person that told us we could not have this thing, to replace the twenty year old one that is held together with tape, as we do not have the money to do so? Anyway, a new edition of floppy-glossy-bi-monthly is out soon, with the exciting story of "Anon executive finalizes initiative to enquire after another round of talks about looking into funding another initiative about something that will never see the light of day, and even if it does, will never actually be finished and there will be no relevant paperwork, or evidence, of it's success or faliure, while continuing to have no bearing on the day to day activities of those people on the front line, or those who actually buy the service and keep everyone in employment"

Now the point of all this.... IBM has realised there may be a way to make money from all these non-knowledge workers, by getting them on the IT treadmill. For years those without the need for a commute in the rush hour, have all been letting those with desks all get steamed up in rush hour traffic, have their paintball weekends, and pictures in the huge fold out glossy monthly newless-letters (you know the ones, yes, that 30lb stack of dusty shiney paper down there that has been there since the easter before last) and most importantly managed very intelligently to be able to stay out of all that coporate time wasting, the upper echelons laughingly call "productivity". Now they are going to have to work twice as hard at keeping out the way (even the now familiar technique of tugging your forelock, smoothing down your smock, and saying "ARRR 'ello your lordyship, noice day fur milkin' mee cowz", is probably going to have to be rethought) as those at the top, are going to get notification of something to relive the corporate boredom, and this must be good! It involves IBM, AND spending money, AND having meetings all about it, AND Powerpoint presentations about it, AND they can even announce it in the next huge glossy!!

So if you have avoided those that are supposed to make decisions, but really always just say "No you can't have it, although we just all got new leather chairs, oh come on, we need those to work in, where else would we sit?? What....pardon? Well just tell the expectant mothers to bring THEIR OWN incubators, and sterile delivery rooms with them, sheesh, it's not difficult is it? See, I CAN make snap judgements about the real issues in this job, and that's why they pay me and extremely obscene amount of money for the absolute zero I do, and contribute to this organisation.", then watch out, as this could be a significant move to try and bring you in finally. The big IT guns really know they have no problem persuading the bored board room to buy anything they want them to, but YOU (dear deskless) will have to be strong, as those IT companies know there is a full on potential to put their stuff out, to what is in fact a BIGGER audience (albeit a paying one) than they ever dreamed of. The evolution of things like this will not be painless, but once it is there, things should calm down and actually be SOME good. Technology is in the hands of everyone now, and in this instance IBM has little to do regarding educating the masses, as they already know what to do. So my dream would be a world where the corporate desk based worker was rightly put in their place as a minority. As of now they are not regarded as the majority, they are simply regarded as all there is to the work place!

Phew....I need a cup of mocha-lotta-frappe....oh bugger, what a giveaway!