Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Digital Ca....mer..a......zzzzzzzz BORING!

The Screen Savers, have decided to have a whole week of looking at digital photography. How boring can you get. Look, I know I follow a lot of computer stuff, but please, not ANOTHER endless procession of supposed 'professional' photographers telling us all these mysterious things that we could never have worked out for ourselves....

1. Point the camera at the subject.
2. Make sure you have the light behind you.
3. Always fill the frame of the picture.
4. (Wait for this it's a good one)....... Expensive cameras are better than cheap ones.
5. Don't move while taking the picture or it will be blurry (that is a technical term meaning 'fuzzy').
6. Remove lens cap.

Wow, how could we live without these special shows to tell us all about these weird magical boxes known as 'cam-e-ras'?

Of course, a terror even more er.... terrible than that has to be.... the obvious follow up they ALWAYS do.... and I am sorry to mention this in polite company, but I feel it's my public duty to do so...

THE BEST PRINTER TO PRINT ALL THESE IMAGES OUT WITH!!NOOOoooOOooOooOooOooo

You know the score..... meaningless dot resolution, by laughably pathetic print times, divided by cost of ink per page (and that's only a 3% page coverage and NOT the full page image of the Eiffel tower you are seeing) makes for a riveting twenty minutes. Divide that time into four equal slots and repeat the same thing over each time, for each model. Thankfully on the last occasion, we were not subjected to Leo Laporte's pompous ramblings about how much he pretends to know, and likes hearing his own voice CONSTANTLY, while deftly managing to mask the sound of any relevant information being imparted! But that's a whole other entry..

Follow the logic on this one.... They talk to the people watching the show as if they have never heard the word CAMERA before, and yet no mention of how these things attach to the computer, how you get the images from camera to PC, or any other technically USEFUL information.... is it just me?
Surely someone who was this basic in camera skills would need to know these rather fundamental processes, if they were thinking of getting a camera?




Snore......

No comments: