Just try this...

Try listening to this, and when you scoff and say "I say PAH to that bloggers childish ramblings!", remember those words when you are singing this all day long, and CANNOT STOP!!

Cheating Fruit Machines

This shouldn't have been news to those who seemed to have gone to such great lengths to write about it. While looking for emulators of all kinds, I found this, and if you do decide to download any of them you may be impressed with how detailed the emulations are!

I don't really know, except that the boing, boing, boing, and doooiiiing, noises they always seem to make for incomprehensible reasons, is just as annoying as when I was a child. Forced to sit drinking some insipid supposed lemonade, while breathing in the smoke from about three thousand clone miners' (those are the coal getting sort, not the young ones) smoking habits of around 11 thousand a day, endlessly laughing maniacally at something that always eluded me...hmm.... in their 'club'. Just the thought of it brings back memories of loud individuals talking about nothing inparticular, and having to remain rooted to the spot for what seemed hours at a time. Chiming away in the background with a kind of sad cheefulness was that blasted fruit machine!

Where was I..er.. oh yes, the noises of the fruit machine emulators, as well as the subliminal blinking and flashing, was something I could never fathom. I regarded them as a place to put your money, and leave it there. So I was not really what one could call 'up' on all things fruity and spinney.

Mind you, the miners seemed to get a lot out of it... is that what it means to have an addictive or compulsive streak?

What did we do before computers entered the home, I will never know! Perhaps some of the above?? (Shudders while changing mind about biulding that time machine)

Anyway, seems that someone agrees with me on Video Game pricing AT LAST!

Movie Reviews

I keep giving my movie reviews around 8 out of 10. This is similar to when I spent years reading software (that means games to be honest) and every review was always in the top 75%.

So in reality, anything that said over 80% was ok, anything less than that was avoidable. Anything over 95% was worth taking a peek at.

Perhaps it was the nature of the technology. Games were (supposedly) always improving with the next big thing. Some terribly named 'engine' behind something which didn't immediately seem as though it had anything to offer, was what the fuss was always about.

So it wasn't really how GOOD a game was, it was more like a HOW BAD it might be. Most of the new stuff (of the time) was bound to look good, and be different from all the other clones in some way, but by defnition wasn't anything exceptional.

They were missing the point somewhat, in that gameplay is still king. No amount of shiney stuff is going to make up for boring thumb mashing time in front of your PC or TV.

And don't forget kiddies, I'm talking about WAYYY back in time, before Playstation 1 even (gasps all round)!

Free stuff!

I had to recreate a tediously tedious, publication for distribution around those cheese and wine, get togethers, where nobody actually drinks any wine, eats any cheese, and never means one single moment of that smile that is permenantly on guard duty.

But to do it I needed some OCR (optical character recognition) software, as I couldn't face endless hours of typing phrases such as, "Embracing from day one..... energizing the entire community... and maybe even.... equalizing belief in the spirit of equally spirited believers of this millenium.

So not having the $500 needed for the latest batch of overpriced software, I went in search of maybe a trial version.. I found a great piece of software which is free and worked wonderfully!! From every crappy thing, a possibly not so crappy thing may emerge. (Sometimes just another piece of crap emerges, but not today)

For anyone wondering what OCR is, it's a way of scanning a page from a book (for instance) and then turning an image of that page, into editable text. So you don't have to type it in again. Most people think that simply retyping would take no time at all, and usually around the 4th page, they see the road ahead get longer, instead of that 'quick' 30 mins they had originally hoped for. Mythological tales of generations of families completing their sections of the text, as they die of boredom and carpal tunnel syndrome, because you can bet that any text you have to re-enter, is not something YOU would have done originally, as you would already have it as a text file. So there is no way the Gods are going to let it be in any way interesting to you.

Important Government Issues...

Went to see my chums down town today, and as usual they were helpful and to the point (no this time I REALLY mean it). Sorted out a few mysteries as to why things appeared to have stopped completely.

I got to thinking that perhaps this is one reason people just don't bother completing the processes needed. After all, my particular visa stretches out over about 3 or 4 years until everything is completed. All that time it is down to a lottery of if a person that day has put on top, or at the bottom, of often VERY large piles of paper to be processed.

Seeing the form numbers and newsgroups again after such a long time, brought back shuddering memories of piles of papers, acres of research, and buttock clenching (but always needless) worry over how a particular interview may go...

As usual, I worried myself to death, got prepared, only to find them very helpful and in this particular case, willing to lend a hand.

All in all a good day :)

GT4

Gran Turismo 4 is the next thing on ones wish list, drool, salivate, and then DRIVE!

Is this right or wrong?

Huntingforbambi.com is a site where apparently, big grown up men, run around paintballing women.

That's a little odd in itself, until you discover that the women are in the buff! Yes, that's right, nudie!

This is the deal... they go out sans clothing into the woods. Then if they evade the paintballs, they get a huge wedge of cash. If not, they have to appear as 'trophies' on the website.

Avoiding the screamingly obvious innuendo, what do you think?

Boom chakka boom chakka

You want weird, then this is the song for you.....

It seems those corporate Powerpoint junkies from the previous post, really fried my cells, and I will never quite be the same again. It was strange....... cheerio

Powerpoint ARG!

I am being forced to make an utterly useless presentation. Now for those of you out there that are already thinking "hmmmm that's Powerpoint he's talking about, isn't it?"

Well you should stop reading right there and never come back to this page EVER AGAIN.

The reason I say this is that Powerpoint is probably one of the cheesiest presentation tools around. But to get at least a LITTLE humour at M$ expense, try this and listen to a huge archive of cliché. Not just a little bit, but HUGE STEAMY wads. Only equalled (not bettered) by those awful scratchy movie theatre commercials for the pizza place/curry house "that's only 300 yards from this movie house."

In fact I think Microsoft must have bought the rights from some smelly bag person, to be able to call these pieces of audible blasphemy, their own.

Don't worry Mr Gates, these pages just go to show how slick Powerpoint really can get! (Not really, for all those Americans reading this)

But worst of all, I am to make a presentation ABOUT POWERPOINT! Nooooooo Arg etc...

So I am going to do the same thing in Flash, so I can clense myself of this putrid waste of disk space...

Wow, I gotta get this

Here is something you will not want to miss! I thought There was it, but this could be the ultimate!!

Hello Mary

Aha! We know that you visit us, so we thought we should leave a message here for you....

Pie

Pie

Making do....

Blimey! This is one of those scary lists, that make you glad you shop in stores, and use electricity occasionally!!

Ikea

Editing a rant down considerably.... Come on sort out your website.... just try looking for something there, or finding any relevant info... It's made by people that understand websites, and don't need to look for anything they need/want for their house. It's all very well making a nice site, but remember that those people coming to it, know only what they want from it, NOT the entire thing before they have even looked at it.

If this makes little sense, then tough, just don't tell me about your next online information gathering experience there.

There.com (Again)

Odd things that people seem to work out....

I have a Teleportal on my site now, to get to objects, places and the odd person or two within There. Those of you lucky enough to be in will be able to try it, those not....well, we just don't associate with those sort of people (smuggity smug smug)

I will be collecting more of them in the coming weeks I suppose

Windows Update Mysteries...

Just at the beginning of installing a bunch of Windows98 PC's and after a format and a clean reinstall of one machine, went to Windows Update and it kept telling me that I did not need any updates..

How odd?

After a while, I worked out that it was the clock, which was set at 2005, instead of 2003 (for those of you reading this in the history books, it was before flying cars and really USEFUL house cleaning robots) and Windows Update must have taken the PC's clock time, or some other thing that I could not really have any knowledge of...

Does anyone out there know what you call a dish that you put your car keys, spare change, etc into? You know the one you have near the front door, so that thieves can easily take all the important things without having to rummage around and wake everyone up.

I need something that will hold keys, change, mobile phones, and sunglasses....

This looked promising, but there seems no information on HOW they made them from the alledged materials...

Wow, look at this well spent time, with a CD-ROM DRIVE and a microwave AND a toaster.