Finally, cue the angelic chorus and bright lights from heaven...

I grew up thinking that having your own arcade machine IN YOUR HOUSE, would be the best thing ever. But of course, that's just silly, it's impossible right? Not any more...
Looks like Target are going to be selling a $500 arcade cabinet with 12 games on board. Looking up some of the competition, this seems to be the better deal out there. Although the comments on the Target product page make for scary reading.

For some really weird reason, life has always been very good to me, and given me what ever I have wanted. I still remember my first taste of Defender, tucked away in the corner of a dusty seaside arcade, in England. I was useless, but what a rush... since then it's been lurve. I hope to get to see one of these things running, so I get the authentic "never-cleaned"(®Krysss.com) technology product. I may be able to purchase additional cigarette burns, as well as a goldfish bowl screen. Such quality you can see every scan line, and your own internal organs as it x-rays you.

The games are...
Joust, Defender I and II, Robotron, Rampage, Splat, Satan's Hollow, Root Beer Tapper, Bubbles, Wizard of War, Timber and Sinistar.

So if not this, then maybe this for the PSP. I know what you're thinking, MAME, right? But yeah it's groovy and all, however for a quick pick up and play MAME doesn't really do it. It will give you an exact 80's arcade experience with minimal setup. Though it's not really convenient when waiting in line, for what ever it is that person has been talking to the cashier about for the last 20 minutes.



Get me a box of tissues, and CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU DAMMIT!

Xbox 360 - Hands on

Did my usual patrol into Best Buy today, and was stopped in my tracks by a rather sneaky and cheeky installation of an Xbox 360. This is what I saw.

It had two wired controllers and a demo disk inside the machine. Someone was already playing Call of Duty 2 on it. He didn't actually seem to have any previous experience at playing anything like that before. Repeated attempts by his computer controlled buddies, to get him to take cover and stop inhaling bullets, only resulted in a closeup of someones bottom, which he tried to shoot. Needless to say he perished within moments of meeting the enemy. Not entirely sure if he was indeed shot by the other chaps, or his commanding officer, sort of had an accident his way? On his second attempt, something more sinister happened. The game froze, and most of it went blue. Major crash. A quick prod of the reset button and it was back to the demo selection screen.

It seemed to be running with all the features that you can expect to get with a take home Xbox 360, but I was pressed for time, and of course wanted to see the games a runnin'.

Trouble was, apart from Call of Duty 2, and Kameo (which looks like the twisted ramblings of a spoilt 7 year old child), all other games on show were merely video. And I don't mean the good kind that shows you real footage. It was all the flashy and expensive, trailer style of video. Got controller, play game, dur!
So I strolled into Call of Duty 2, which starts off with quite a long set piece you have to wait for, until you can get into hot man on man, blasting action. I got my head sploded. The controller was fine, as it is very similar to an Xbox one, but my PC heritage still yearns for a good ol keyboard and mouse set up for my first person shooters. Kameo....zzz.... this thing has been coming out for ever, and it just seemed so contrived and over designed to me. Snore central on the level they gave you to play.

All in all, the graphics were good, but nothing so far that I couldn't see on a high end PC. I was crushed, dismayed, saddened to see they only had stupid video of Need for Speed Most Wanted. I had seen and heard great things of it, and being more shallow than a puddle in the desert, it would have cheered me no end to get to play with shiny things like that.

Summary, so far, I ain't seen nothing a computer can do. I am really more excited about the PS3 than the Xbox 360. Actually from what I hear all round, I have the PS3 first, then the Nintendo Revolution, after which is the Xbox 360.

Don't forget kids, current Xbox games are going to be amazingly cheap once this thing launches. Some amazing deals to be had soon.



Xbox 360, I still don't know if it's any good or not, help me!

Doom - The Movie

Doom the movie, has been coming out for what seems for ever. And the reviews are saying it's not so good, BUT (there's always a but) it captures the game Doom perfectly. I have not seen any other movie, which captured the essence of a game as completely as this one.

Great cast, and none of the clichés which would have so easily slipped in between the massive amounts of action. Not even the part in an action movie where they all hold up somewhere, pull out blue prints, and explain the 'plot so far' for all the stupids. Then decide which doors they are going to weld shut, with us seeing the last soldier reporting the door is closed, saying "And nothing is going to get in or out". Camera panning down, as he walks away, to trail of slime which we return to a couple of scenes later. Watching him scrabble at that very same two foot thick steel door, while being chomped by the monster of the moment.

If you wanted to give someone an idea of what it's like to play Doom, or any other first person shooter. Show them this movie, it captures it all so well. And as for the bad reviews, this movie never promised to be anything else other than a real good time.



I watched it on the IMAX screen. The bonus was that because of all the crappy reviews, I could get in to see it on a Saturday night, and sit where ever I wanted. Oh yeah

Email junk from family and friends?

Getting lots of emails from people you know, who JUST got a computer? They have only recently gained the ability to type without keep asking where every single letter on the keybaord is. Unfortunately if you are, I don't need to explain it as you're already receiving countless images, jokes, chain letters, and e-cards. If not then you're probably who I am talking about.

Show them this Microsoft Video, it should do all the hinting you could ever need.

Just like teenagers, they believe nobody has seen these things before, and EVERYONE will find it sooo toootally hilarious! So go ahead, send all this junk to people's work email addresses, and see how many responses you get. After all, what are people supposed to say? "Thanks for sending me that video which could quite possibly get me into trouble at work for language/graphical content"? Or maybe, "Thanks for sending me that email so that the e-card company can sell my address on for more spam"?

And eventually it all turns to tears.

"Hey, did you get my email the other day?"

Oh no, I have been deleting them all since I got the third chain letter with 67 people listed in the TO field. I NEVER read any of their emails. "Er.. no, did you send me one?"

"Yeah, it was of this kid falling off a bike, it was so funny!"

Hmmm I saw that one, it was an 8MB file which came into my inbox while on dial-up in a hotel, at a conference for work. I just deleted it from my webmail without looking at it, otherwise it would have taken all night to get it. I saw it four years ago anyway.

"Stop sending me all this tired crap ok? What do I look like, a five year old?"**

And it goes on



** Not actually the end of the conversation, but it is probably what really was wanted (and needed) to be said.

Ipod Video

Now I have to get in on this one. Apple brings out something and they act like it's new? I'm already getting the puke bag for when we have to hear endless droning on about how revolutionary the Ipod Video is. The world according to Apple is that they invented computers, MP3 players, and now had the ground breaking forsight to let people watch video on the go. Of course, Karma prevents me from chuckling to myself, when the Apple sheep who jog (and only took it up because Apple invented it), run out into traffic, or hit a tree. This being as their ears and eyes were filled with some band's music video they just HAVE to take with them.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

And anyway, what the hell is so important about listening to music? In a Twitcast the other day, someone asked a question about bringing music files into work, and it being a secure building which did not allow USB devices. Dvorak(he gets no spam) replied (and I completely agree), "How about NOT listening to music and getting on with your work you're being paid to be there to do?".

If you can't have it, then er... don't maybe an option? I just don't get the whole music thing? I like music and appreciate the art. But when did it become mandatory? Take those plugs out of your ears and talk to someone... sorry if that was a little harsh. Might mean some er... brace yourselves.... effort? Oh dear, how can I say such foul things?



Ipod Video

Slingbox is nice

I remember the release of the Slingbox. So when faced with the object in person, I just had to give it a whirl.

This thing is stupidly simple to set up. The idea is that you can plug the Slingbox between your TV and the source of your TV viewing. ANYTHING with a video output, and I mean ANYTHING. Most will plug their Tivo's, or cable boxes into it. You can plug game consoles, video cameras, or as in my case a DirecTivo. They put all the cables you can think of in the box, and yes, the Slingbox has ports IN and OUT. So unlike most other televisual electronics, it actually can plug in, straight out of the box. That includes stereo audio of course. Then just plug the included network cable into your home network. I used a wireless bridge, as I was not going to lay on eight million miles of CAT5 cable through the house just to reach my new toy research product.

The software comes with it, but I just went online and got the latest version of the Slingplayer. Upon installation you tell it what sort of video device you have plugged it into, and it even gives you remote control of your video. By way of an IR Blaster, which is a little emmitter which acts like the light that normally comes from your remote control in your hand. As you set up the device for the first time, you can tell it which model of electronics you have and it will make sure it acts like the remote control, so you don't have to run up/down the whole house to pause or stop the movie etc.

At the end of the setup you are watching your normal television on your computer monitor. You can size the picture as tiny or as large as you like, up to full screen. The magic happens when you go out of your house and watch it in another place over the internet. So the idea is you can watch (and control) your home tv from anywhere in the world.

It guides you through opening your firewall, which you need to do if you want to be able to watch it on the go. If you don't you can still use it within your own network of course.

As soon as I get on the road, I will report back, but so far the thing is amazing.

Of course, the idea is that when you DO go on the road, you will be probably watching on a laptop. So when the software setup starts, it asks you if you have already set up the hardware. If you have, it skips everything and gives you a completed customized setup for your chosen Slinbox. When on the road you can connect via IP or using your ID code of your Slinbox so you can 'find' it from where ever you are.

Groovy. So far the only weirdness that I can find with it (although I haven't taken it on the road yet) is that sometimes the audio seems to slow down ever so slightly. I assume the image does too, but it's harder to see it perhaps.


Click this to see the quality

North American PSP 2.0 Update finally arrives

So here is the process to get your PSP, over to the new 2.0 software version. After doing a normal network update check, this is what follows. Sorry for the crappy quality, I don't happen to have a PSP dev kit lying around in all my piles of gold, and $100 bills I use to light my cigars.



OK here we go...

User Agreement (Phew! Must have been 15 seconds or so since I read one of those)


Yes, of course

Click here for the details of the next 6 screen shots



Battery Warning. Don't play with batteries kids!


One percent... two percent... zzz


Hurrah! Time to play with the new toys...


New browser entry on the menu


Theme, or from what I saw, color selection of background.


Browser in action, before we unleash full screen...


BEHOLD THE MIGHT OF FULL SCREEN!
The mouse pointer you see here as a pen, uses the little analog stick on the PSP to move, VERY nice. There are options for bookmarks and a home page also. Cookie management too, how jolly exciting.


An applied wallpaper, but stupid me used an image that exactly would not look any good at all. The black areas are just where there is no image, nothing more.


Not had much time to mess with it as yet, just wanted to get these images up quickly. So far so good. The crappy looking images are due to a digital camera taking shots of the screen, which has a screen protector on it. The shots where then straigtened out in Photoshop, hence the not very straight looking edges.

Kids and another tale of pandering

Slashdot had an article today about children being given video games as homework. But one particular comment seemed to stand out.

"How will you make the hamburger-flipping jobs they get after graduation not feel like hamburger-flipping?"

As far as I see it, that is the whole point of children going to school. To help prepare them for the world once they have to make their own decisions. I am sure each generation, feels the next one is never going to survive, but they seem to. However, making children feel as if they must be entertained at every possible moment of their waking lives, or it's ok to just turn their noses up and walk away? I am not sure how this trend is in any way self sustaining? It takes quite a patient person to be able to give, over and over, to others who do not resepct that effort in any way. So who will continue this weird tradition further down the line? As with most things it may just swing back the other way.

I see a lot of gadgets in my job, and the stuff they have for kids is staggering. I am not referring to toys, but endless amounts of stuff designed to not give them a moments peace at any time in their life! I think children miss out on just being able to be quiet for a moment or two and be left with themselves. Listening to music and playing video games is one thing, but they are constantly bombarded with entertainment options for every part of their lives, they never get to experience that peace.

Otherwise when they get older they have to be explained this sort of shit!

Mad rush for $50 computers

Astounding! Watch the video of how a county sale of $50 Ibooks, went bananas. I am sure there will be people blaming those concerned with organising the event, but nobody will call to task those who acted so insanely over a laptop, trampling people in the rush!

I agree with the comment posted on Digg... Ebay next time.

Sad

read more | digg story

Lord of the Rings

I know a lot of people really like the Lord of the Rings series of books. So being the geek, I thought I should really read it. Can't be a nerd when you haven't. I have NEVER done the whole Dungeons and Dragons thing, you know, with 20 sided dice, no women, dark aged worlds of festering monks, smashed barrels, and large cellar dwelling rats etc. Was never my scene. First off did "The Hobbit", (my only previous exposure to it through an ancient text adventure) and then onto the "Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring". It was a strange read indeed. There were endless descriptions of endless miles and miles of countryside. That seemed about it! Any actual story, was always supposedly a story of something that ALWAYS happened before memory recalls (but seems able to recall the long trudging detail of even what color the kings hat was etc). Which they told to eachother with annoying regularity. I always imagined (after seeing the movies) this was an action thing. Twanging arrows, squelching sword play, and rocks squishing foes. Not at all. One part an entire battle (of jaw dropping vastness) was described as "...they came over the hills and they had a battle. Next morning....." Maybe not an exact quote, but you get the idea.

The books came across to me like a Middle Earth, Benny Hill show. They were chased up the hill, and down the hill. Into the forest, around the forest, and out of the forest. Even had Aragorn slapping little Frodo on the head for no reason. (Ok I made that bit up, but he should have done). And even that is making it sound more exciting that it was. Endless trudging over hilltops and fanatically detailed scenes, of woodlands, forests, escarpments (I knew there was a reason for teaching geography in schools), and surprisingly shimmery sunsets, blah blah blah... Nothing EVER happened to the people in the story, they just wandered about all over the place.

Who ever actually oversaw the adaptations for the movies, deserves a medal, as they used all the RIGHT parts of the books.

I will read the rest of them, but not until I have cleansed my palette with a novel taken from the screenplay of the apparent stinker, Fantastic 4. After that, I should be ready for the next Benny Hi...er.. I mean Lord of the Rings installment.

Click here for my audio review of these books.



Slappity slap slap